Book Review: The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

Last week I came home from work and found the novel, "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold, sitting on my reading table. It was a gift from my husband. He rarely buys me books because he knows how fussy I am about literature, so this was quite a surprise. I read the description on the back cover...

"My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973."

So begins the story of Susie Salmon, who is adjusting to her new home in heaven, a place that is not at all what she expected, even as she is watching life on earth continue without her -- her friends trading rumors about her disappearance, her killer trying to cover his tracks, her grief-stricken family unraveling.

I noted the fresh plot and POV of a person's spirit after death and asked my husband where he ever found such an interesting book. He said, "It found me. I was looking for something else, and it was just lying on top of a row of books in the wrong location."

"I'm always keeping an eye out for books like this that delve into the after-life," I said.

He said, "I know. So am I. I knew I had to get it for you."

The book says it was made into a major motion picture, yet I have no memory of that. I'm not a big movie fan. So, I researched it and was happy to see that the movie is coming out soon. I didn't miss it. The copyright for the book is 2002, so I had assumed that the movie was released long ago.

I think the fact that I devoured this book in one week with my busy schedule speaks for itself. This book is mesmerizing. At first I worried that too much focus would fall on the grief of the parents, however Sebold did such a beautiful job of showing their grief through actions that wove a story of their own that I was drawn into the drama mainly by the unpredictability of the characters.

The gaps and transitions in time were handled so smoothly that I found myself giving the nod to each of the author's choices, with one exception. Susie's choice of how to handle a very limited period of time in which she left heaven to be among the living again was difficult to believe, considering her age at death, the circumstances of her death, and the complete lack of responsibility she exhibited over her friend's welfare. I can't say much more without ruining the story. That scene was a complete surprise, though, and I can't complain about unpredictability.

I love a book where no material is extraneous. I felt confident paying attention to detail, because I had confidence that Sebold would weave that detail back into the story later. I'm usually impatient with character memories, because they take away from the forward action of the plot, but every memory within The Lovely Bones was important and written so well that it fit in nicely.

I'm a suspense fan, yet with this book I wasn't consumed with the need to catch the bad guy. What was happening with the mother, whose solution to her grief involved denial and putting distance between her and her reality, was just as interesting as what was happening with the murderer and the murdered. The father's opposite approach to his grief, writing to his daughter in a notebook and tracking down the killer, made for good tension within the family.

The characters outside the family who became deeply involved in the aftermath of Susie's murder were each fascinating in their own way. One would expect Susie's best friend to be strongly affected, but instead it was a girl who Susie spoke to only once, but who had a sixth sense for the paranormal.

The Lovely Bones is a book I plan to hang on to for a second, and maybe third, reading. It's been a while since I've read something that has inspired me to return to my own writing career, and this novel struck some flint within me to attack that blank white page of a word processing document, and better yet, to even finish some of the old novels I started back in the 1980's and 90's instead of just leaving them in that dusty place called unfinished book heaven.

Book Review: Cross Country

I just finished reading the thriller novel "Cross Country" by James Patterson. I picked up a copy of this book at the market since I've had so much down time lately. It was listed as #2 on the bestseller list when I picked it up, but it is advertised as being a #1 New York Times Bestseller. I perused all the books on the bestseller shelf, but picked out this one because it mentioned an underworld. There are certain words and phrases that result in me immediately putting a book back on the shelf. Those include...

"courtroom drama" - (I find courtrooms so boring that I'll do anything to avoid jury duty, so why would I want my imagination to sit in a courtroom while reading a book? Courtrooms are breeding grounds for hemorrhoids.)

"recovering from..." - (Recoveries are usually very slow with a lot of self-reflection. I prefer action and suspense. Let he recovery happen after the final chapter of the book.)

"marriage falling apart" - (I know of enough marriages falling apart in real life and don't need to read about more tragedy in a book.)

"murder" - (Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to pick up a book now-a-days that doesn't involve murder within the plot. It's almost impossible to watch a TV show without murder. However, if the book has something else about the plot that I find interesting, I'm willing to ignore the murderous part.)

"Cross Country" did mention a killer in its description, but since it was about Detective Alex Cross catching a killer and uncovering a political underworld, I decided to give it a try. Much to my disgust, this book was loaded with so much violence and senseless murder that I found myself laughing at it after a while. I know that laughter isn't the appropriate response to such mayhem, but there was nothing convincing about this plot or its characters.

Detective Alex Cross gets his nose broken and is beaten unconscious every few hours, yet somehow manages to rise above it and forget all about his pain to continue his hunt for this killer. I'm sitting there thinking, "I fall off a horse, break my arm, and I'm out of commission for two months. This guy breaks bones, gets his shoulder dislocated, bleeds all over the place, suffers multiple concussions, and still manages to travel the world and fight off dozens of attackers all at once."

I'm sorry. I just can't suspend my beliefs enough to take this plot seriously. However, if there is any truth to the social and political conditions in the areas of Africa covered in this book, you can bet I'm never going near them. Even when people are mutilated, murdered, and dead bodies raped right in front of Cross, he manages to move on as if it was all in a day's work. If I witnessed any of that, I'd be in a mental institution in a catatonic state. His lack of reaction to such inhumane treatment did not make me like his character as much as the author probably hoped the readers would like him. The jerk spent all his time pining over some ex-girlfriend from his college days, then coming very close to having an affair in Africa while his real girlfriend was back home worrying about his welfare. Who can sympathize with a character like that?

Truthfully, I think author James Patterson missed the mark by killing all those innocent people and letting Detective Alex Cross live. If he's going to continue with these Alex Cross thrillers, he might want to make the character a little more admirable so that us readers will actually be rooting for him instead of just trying to keep our meals down.

New Jeans

A while back I wrote a review for women's Levi's 512 Perfectly Slimming Jeans.  To this day they are still my all-time favorites.  However, my most comfortable pair ripped at the belt loop when I was pulling them up.  I know from experience that when I find a product that works for me, I have to stock up while it is on the market since products come and go so quickly. 

I couldn't find any in the local stores, but I did find some in the Drysdales catalog. I also found a number of other brands and styles of jeans that sounded promising.  So, as a birthday present to myself, I ordered five new pairs of jeans that should tie me over for the next few years.  Of course, one pair was the Levi's 512.  They mold to your figure, and I would go so far as to say that they would probably fit any figure as long as you chose something close enough to your size.  I actually sleep in these jeans, because they are as comfortable as pajama bottoms.  The downside is that in order for them to be that comfortable, the material has to be thin, which means they will rip after repetitive washings and wear.

The next most awesome pair of jeans that I ordered was the Dakota Natural Rise Boot Cut Riding Jean by Cruel Girl.  Very comfy and very flattering.  These are made out of 99% cotton and 1% spandex.  They also come in 100% cotton, but I prefer a little spandex.  You can choose between slim fit or relaxed fit.  Of course, since I'm not slim, I chose the relaxed fit.  For the length, there are an amazing number of choices:  Short, Regular, Long, X-Long, and XX-Long inseams.  Regular was plenty long for me.  These jeans come in odd-numbered sizes 0-19.  I had written down an even size, and Drysdale's customer service contacted me to ask if I wanted one size larger or one size smaller.  Since I ordered the spandex, I went with one size smaller, and they fit great.

Another interesting pair of jeans is the Lawman Miracle Faith Clean Back Jean.  It slims the tummy while lifting and shaping the bottom.  It's made of 98% cotton and 2% spandex and comes in sizes 3/4 through 15/16 in 32", 34" or 36" inseams.  These jeans are on the pricey side ($60), but have a really nice cut that makes them worth it.  My only complaint is that they are low-rise, which doesn't work well with my granny underpants.

I'm a fan of long rise waists, because they usually work well with my wide hips and narrow waist.  Most pants I try on don't gather at the waist.  It's as if fashion designers think the most common women's figure involves thick waists that are the same width as the hips.  When I bend over, someone could drop a bowling ball down the back of my pants.  Since long rise jeans are not in style, I was happy to find Wrangler Classic Denim Jeans with a cowboy cut, long rise, and classic fit.  These come in odd-numbered sizes and are 100% cotton, so I wasn't sure whether to chose one size larger or one size smaller without the spandex.  I took a chance on one size smaller and discovered that I need to take a little fat off my belly to be able to zip them up comfortably.  Otherwise, they fit well in the thighs, hips, and waist.  You don't want to get them if you still have a pregnancy pouch, though.  Who knew I'd still have mine after my last child is in high school?

The final pair I ordered really wasn't a jean, but casual pants.  It's called the Wrangler Aura Instantly Slimming Pant.  It's a "long lean mid-rise silhouette pant" featuring a no gap waistband and tummy control panel.  Because it is made up of 97% cotton and 3% spandex stretch sateen, I ordered mine in two sizes smaller.  Amazingly, they were still a bit too big.  The no gap waistband required a belt.  The thing about spandex is that once it stretches out, it doesn't snap back.  The pants get looser and looser as the day goes on.  So, if you order this pant, you might want to try four sizes smaller than what you would wear in a blue jean.  If you normally wear a size 14, order a size 10.  I haven't washed them yet.  If they shrink considerably, then two sizes down might work.  These pants come in navy, khaki, black or putty colors.  They have the same nice clean line on the rear without pockets.

As far as jeans go, I'm still trying to figure out which brands, styles, and fabric combinations work best for sticking to the saddle when riding horses.  If I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Book Review: BASIC HORSE TRAINING by Michael Hockemeyer

The cover reads, "Kicking Bear Mustangs Presents BASIC HORSE TRAINING" by Michael Hockemeyer. I grabbed this book off my shelf and read it within a couple of hours after struggling with training my 4-year-old Arabian filly under saddle this weekend. Readers may recall that I have spent the past three years preparing Gabbrielle for under saddle training, and started riding her this spring. However, after she had a series of mysterious injuries I had to retire her to the paddock and pasture for the summer to heal. This weekend was the first time I attempted to ride her again after only about 5 days under saddle this past spring.

Though she was calm, this was the day I dreaded. All horse trainers, including Michael Hockemeyer, say that if a horse is going to test you, it won't be on the first ride. It will be one of the rides after that when the horse gets used to your routine.

Gabbrielle lunged really well and held still for the mount, but when it came time to move forward, she just kept taking one step back and swinging her hindquarters around so that she had me positioned over my step stool. I'd give her some rein and urge her forward, and she'd reposition herself right next to that step stool, but pointing in a different direction. I realized that she was either telling me to get off her, or she really thought that I was asking her to line herself up with that stool.

I use a metal utility stool that has two steps. At one point, the handle of the stool was partially under her belly. I could see that this was a recipe for disaster. I wasn't so much worried about her knocking it over and spooking from the noise, because she's knocked it over plenty of times with her nose and is used to the noise. I was worried that she'd get her feet tangled in the metal frame and panic, causing a wreck. Unfortunately, I couldn't dismount, because the stool was in the way. I haven't practiced dismounting off the right side, but I probably should have started that day. After much maneuvering, and her doing the opposite of what I asked, I saw my window and jumped, clearing the stool.

Michael Hockemeyer spends a good amount of time in his book discussing mounting a horse for the first time. He mentions that using a step stool or mounting block is not a good idea for those first few lessons for the reason I mentioned above. You are placing an object in the arena that the horse can collide with. Instead he recommends mounting from the fence. If you can't do that, he prefers mounting from the ground. He does a good job of giving specific details on how to perform each of these actions.

After tying Gabbrielle to a fence post, I went inside the house to request some help. My son came out and led us with the lead rope to assure that Gabbrielle moved away from the step stool. I had planned to let him lead me for a few rotations, and then unhook the lead rope and remove the stool from the arena. However, Gabbrielle chose this day to start testing me.

First she shook her entire body in an effort to dislodge me from the saddle. This was the most violent, long-lasting full-body shake I had ever experienced on the back of a horse. I clenched down with my thighs and knees, and leaned forward to adjust my balance, and waited it out. I was so glad that I didn't fall off, because that would have taught her that she can dislodge a rider by shaking, and shaking would become a habit.

Next she tried balking. She refused to move forward despite being led. I had to toughen up my cues to unlock her. Next she tried trotting right past my son, probably hoping to rip the lead rope out of his hands. Since she was on a lead rope, I had to slow her down to a walk. When I forced her to walk, she humped up her back, got her hind legs underneath her and began lowering her head to buck. I pulled her head up with the reins and gave her a firm NO!

The last straw was when she started moving backwards at a fairly fast rate while my son was trying to lead her forwards. I had trouble keeping my balance, and was worried about her persistence. Gabbrielle was so set on forcing an involuntary dismount that I was sure she'd think of something that would eventually succeed. So, I had my son hold the lead rope under her chin, and the second she came to a halt, I voluntarily dismounted. Gabbrielle turned her head toward me and let out an adorable THANK YOU nicker. It was hard not to forgive her antics after that.

I wrapped up the lesson by lunging her some more and being more persistent than her over getting what I want. I worked her like a drill sergeant until she knew the only way to end the lesson was to not step out of line.

In the introduction of his book, Michael Hockemeyer writes, "I quickly learned that most books and videos were great at showing you both point A and point C, but point B was almost never covered... I found myself buying books that were hundreds of pages long and getting some type of benefit from only five pages."

I can relate to that. Though his book is too small to cover everything about horse training, he does cover point B fairly well, in addition to points A and C, using simple, straight-forward language and diagrams. The main subjects he covers include basic ground training, getting saddled, and riding.

This serves as a perfect handbook for someone who has just adopted a wild mustang, as it starts from instructions on how to approach the horse for that first human touch. If you bought a fully trained horse from a breeder or trainer, the book may not be what you need, unless there are some holes in the horse's training. I fall somewhere in the middle, having bought my filly from an Arabian horse breeder as a yearling, and spending the past three years preparing her to be trained under saddle.

Though I already had trained my filly beyond what is covered in the first two-thirds of the book, I did find it helpful in the riding section. Hockemeyer discusses riding posture before talking about that first turn, backing, stopping, stepping forward, turning while walking, and going faster. Gabbrielle is at a point where she turns really well, especially while moving backwards, so now I just need to concentrate on getting her to move forward and halt consistently on cue.

Book Review: Build Complete Confidence with Horses

The subtitle of Build Complete Confidence with Horses by Kelly Marks says, "Beat Fear and Excuses & Attain Your Riding Goals". Having written an entire series of posts on the topic of fear and riding horses myself, I was interested in finding out what Kelly had to say.

Kelly Marks is a former jockey and show jumper, so we know she embraced two of the most dangerous events in horsemanship. She is the originator of the Monty Roberts Educational Courses and she founded "Intelligent Horsemanship." In this book, she coaches us on overcoming our fears and recognizing our goals in horsemanship.

This is a book that you can't just read, then put up on the shelf and forget about. You are encouraged to get involved by participating in written exercises, and then continue to consult what you have written long after you've finished reading the book. I must admit that with my busy schedule, I wasn't wild about having to do homework, yet I could see why it was important for me to do it. Sometimes you just have to stop, take inventory on your life, and acknowledge that you took the wrong path. You then need to explore which path you want to be on and plan out how you are going to get there.

Kelly stresses the power of positive thinking, because you attract what you put your energy into. If you are always looking forward to good things, then good things will find you. If you are always dwelling on mishaps of the past, mishaps will frequent your doorstop. My husband taught me about Buddhism when we were in college. Any time that I am discouraged, he supports me by asking me what would make me happy. If I say something like, "A house on 40 acres with no neighbors, but we can't afford it...," he says, "Why not? Anything is possible."

He encourages me to think big, way bigger than I normally do, and he calls it "planting seeds." He says that if I concentrate on what I want, I will eventually attain it. There is definitely a truth to it. Kelly Marks uses the term "planting bulbs," and I instantly knew what she was talking about. We get what occupies our thoughts.

Getting back to the topic of horses, if you constantly fret over falling, you are probably going to fall. Therefore, it is important to visualize a flawless ride. Expect your horse to be relaxed and well behaved. Expect an enjoyable, safe ride. See it how you want it to be. Even if your ride doesn't turn out to be as perfect as you would like, keep imagining what you want, and eventually you will get that ride. If you make a habit out of concentrating on what you want, those great rides will become a habit.

I've been employing positive thinking when assessing my horses' moods. It used to be that if I was preparing to ride a horse, and the horse seemed too excited despite plenty of ground work and lunging, I'd back down and make excuses for why I couldn't ride. Now I look at my hyper, nervous horse and think, "Oh, he'll be fine once I get on him." I admit that he's not always fine after I get on him, but at least the positive thinking got me to the next step, which is riding. It may have been a rough ride, but that's better than no ride at all and a horse that only gets worse because he's not getting enough exercise and training.

I have recently opted out of riding due to high winds, but I think that's more a result of knowing that in reality my neighbor's garbage is blowing around and crashing, and we will get hit with whirlwinds and big gusts, as opposed to negative thinking or fear. I think that's more of a decision coming from my common sense.

There is a lot of good advice in this book. My only complaint is the way in which the publisher chose to fill up the book with side stories, case studies, and quotes. In my job, I can never seem to complete anything, because people keep interrupting me and pulling me off one task to put me onto another. This book left me with that feeling of frustration, because I would be in the middle of reading one topic, and then turn the page and find a different colored section that is on a completely different topic. My choices were to drop what I was in the middle of reading and start reading about something else, or turn the page again to complete what I was reading and hope that I remember to go back and read the pages that I skipped. It all felt a little disorganized. It was designed a bit like a textbook, but I felt that the placement of text could have flowed better.

Overall, the book was inspiring. I wish it came out in a small paperback version, so that I could carry it around in my purse and consult it to remind me to think positive and be courageous.

Some of the fun assignments included in this book include:

• The Lottery Dream
• Your Perfect Day
• Understanding Your Adversaries
• Diaphragmatic Breathing
• Self-Hypnosis
• Keeping a Success Journal
• Choosing Your Music
• Identifying your Role Models
• Listing Helpful & Unhelpful Beliefs
• Letting Go
• Your Dream Book

This is a unique book on horsemanship, because it is not so much a how-to book, but a self-help book for riders. It addresses the psychological aspects of riding horses. It's easy to find books on horse care, riding handbooks that teach equitation, and horse training manuals. It's easiest to find books that detail information on horse breeds, but how often do you come across a book that addresses fear and procrastination? Build Complete Confidence with Horses by Kelly Marks is one of a kind.